Someone put it perfectly on X this month:
"The biggest lie you'll ever hear: 'I no get wahala.' Before you say yes to that roommate, make sure you know who you're moving in with. Peace of mind no be luxury."
Everybody says they have no wahala. Nobody describes themselves as the difficult one. So the vibe check cannot be about what someone claims — it has to be about what they do while you are still deciding.
Here are the signals that actually predict a bad year.
The eight red flags
1. They are vague about money
The single most reliable one. Ask what they can genuinely afford without strain and listen for a number. "It's fine, I'll sort it" is not a number. Neither is "my brother is sending something."
Ask specifically how they will produce their share of the upfront lump — the rent plus agency, legal and caution all land at once. Someone who has thought about that has thought about the year. Someone who waves it away will go quiet in month nine.
2. They will not video call
Messages can be composed at leisure, by anyone, possibly by several people. A live call cannot. Anyone with a reason to avoid one, on any day, at any hour, is telling you something.
3. They are rushing you
Urgency is the oldest tool there is. If someone needs a decision tonight on a year of your life, the pressure is the product.
4. Every previous flatmate was the problem
Listen to how they describe the last three people they lived with. Occasionally someone genuinely had bad luck. But if every single former housemate was mad, dirty or a thief, you are hearing about the constant in that equation.
5. "I don't like confrontation"
This sounds like a green flag and is usually the opposite. It rarely means "I am easy-going." It usually means problems will be stored silently until they arrive fully grown, six months later, over something small.
Compare with someone who says "I'd rather just mention it early." That person is describing a functioning household.
6. Pettiness about small things
One post described a flatmate you could tell would "count toothpicks." It is funny until you live with it. Someone tracking every naira of a shared bag of rice will track everything else too.
The test is not generosity. It is proportion.
7. They dodge the guest question
Ask plainly how often people stay over, including partners. The vague answer always means something, and "occasionally" means wildly different things to different people. A partner quietly becoming a fourth resident is one of the commonest ways sharing breaks down.
8. You cannot meet the current housemates
If you are joining an existing household and are never allowed to speak to anyone already living there, ask yourself why. Ten minutes with them tells you more than an hour with the person letting the room.
Tired of agents? Deal directly with the person you will actually live with. Flatmate users can choose to verify with a government ID and a live selfie, so check for the badge before you reply to anyone. Download Flatmate free.
What people actually screen for
Real flatmate-wanted posts are unusually honest about their criteria. Two from this month:
"I need a flatmate on the mainland. Female. Should not be too religious. Not problematic because I no like wahala. I need someone we can live together as family."
"Must be a female. Age is not so much an issue, just don't be less than 28. Working class. Good cooking skill."
Notice nobody is asking for a nice person. They are asking about religion, age bracket, employment and habits — concrete, checkable things. Copy that. Screen for behaviour, not character.
What "toxic" actually looks like day to day
It is almost never dramatic. It is the accumulation:
- Plates left soaking for days, then a lecture when you mention it.
- Worship music or a film at full volume at 1am, and a locked door when you knock.
- Your food eaten without asking, and then a story told about you for asking.
- Money that is always coming next week.
- Passive silence for a fortnight after any disagreement.
None of those are unforgivable alone. All of them, for twelve months, is why people say the worst thing that can happen to you is a bad roommate.
Do the checks that are actually available
Before you commit a year, verify rather than hope. Check for the verification badge — any user can verify with a government ID and a live selfie. Video call. Ask questions only a real occupant could answer. Match the account name to the person you spoke to.
And never send your BVN, full bank details or ID copies to a stranger's chat. There is no flat-sharing reason for any of it.
If you want the practical mechanics of getting from a profile to a decision, we have separate guides on writing a roommate profile and on what to say in a first message.
Then start on roommates, screen for behaviour rather than vibes, and take the awkward questions seriously. They are awkward because they matter.
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Research: September 2026. Advert examples describe prices collected then, not current availability. Confirm current charges, applicable rules and in-app payment terms before committing.