Somebody on X put the counter-argument to flat-sharing better than any critic could:
"Why do people always think AS IF roommates are the answer? Many roommates suck. Not responsible in paying their portion of the bills. Or eat your food. Or they are slobs. It's very VERY hard to find a good roommate."
That is fair, and it deserves a straight response. Sharing halves your rent and your fees. It can also hand you a year of quiet resentment over a sink.
The difference between those two outcomes is almost never luck. It is the conversation you either had or skipped before anyone moved in. Here are the seven questions that actually decide it.
1. "What can you genuinely afford, every month, without strain?"
Not "can you afford it." Anyone will say yes to a flat they want. You are asking whether their share is comfortable or a stretch, because a stretched flatmate is the one who goes quiet in month nine.
Ask how they intend to produce their half of the upfront lump — the agency, legal and caution fees all land at once. Someone who has thought about that has thought about this properly.
2. "Whose name goes on the tenancy, and are you comfortable with that?"
This is the question with actual legal consequences, and it is the one people skip.
Under section 7(6) of the Tenancy Law of Lagos State 2011, a tenant may not assign or sublet any part of the premises without the written consent of the landlord. Move someone in quietly and you may have breached your tenancy — while they may count as a "person in unlawful occupation" rather than a tenant with rights.
So settle it out loud: both names on the agreement, or one lead tenant with the landlord's written consent naming the other. Decide before you view together, not after you have fallen for a flat.
3. "What does your normal week actually look like?"
Not their personality. Their timetable.
What time do they leave, what time do they get back, do they work nights, do they work from home, do they take calls all day? Two people leaving at 5am for one bathroom is a daily problem no amount of goodwill fixes.
In Lagos this matters more than elsewhere, because the commute dictates the day. Someone crossing the Third Mainland every morning lives a completely different life from someone working from the second bedroom.
Tired of agents? Deal directly with the person you will actually live with. Flatmate users can choose to verify with a government ID and a live selfie, so check for the badge before you reply to anyone. Download Flatmate free.
4. "How do you feel about guests, and about partners staying over?"
Ask it plainly, because it is the single most common source of flat-share breakdown, and the vague answer always means something.
"Occasionally" means different things to different people. Press gently for specifics: weeknights or weekends, how often, and whether a partner effectively living there would be considered normal.
One person on X had to move out because the flatmate holding the tenancy got married and her husband moved in. She refunded them, which was decent, but nothing in the arrangement required her to be.
5. "How do you want to handle the kitchen and food?"
Separate shelves or shared shopping? Who washes what, and when? Is "I'll do it later" a real time?
The complaints that show up online are never about grand betrayals. They are dirty plates soaking for days, food taken without asking, a pot nobody will claim. Small things, daily, for a year.
Decide the system in advance and most of it never becomes personal.
6. "How do we split the bills, and who actually pays them?"
Electricity, water, waste, internet, and diesel or generator fuel, which in Lagos is its own budget line.
Agree the split, agree a date, and agree who physically pays and gets reimbursed. Also agree what happens when one of you travels for three weeks — do they still pay full share? Answer it now while it is hypothetical and nobody is annoyed.
7. "If this stops working, how do we end it cleanly?"
The most important question, and the one that feels rudest to ask. Ask it anyway.
How much notice does each person give? Can a leaver nominate a replacement, and who approves them? What happens to the caution deposit? What happens if someone simply stops paying?
A flatmate who answers this calmly is showing you they intend to behave well. A flatmate who is offended by the question has answered it a different way.
Put it in writing, then verify the person
Once you have the answers, write them down and both sign: who pays what and when, how bills split, notice period, replacement, and how the caution is divided at the end. This is not distrust. It is what lets two decent people stay decent when something unexpected happens.
And check who you are dealing with before any of it. Look for the verification badge, and video call before committing — seeing someone's face and hearing how they answer question four tells you more than fifty messages will.
Start on roommates in Lagos, ask all seven, and do not talk yourself out of the awkward ones. They are the awkward ones because they matter.
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